November 14, 2006
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Exclusive Interview!
(Radio Transcript)
Hey there dudes and dudettes...Mitchell Sporklander of MitchSpork magazine here, your exclusive source for everything indie. Let me tell you, folks, cutting edge does not even begin to describe the sporky sharpness of my next interviewee. This man on the phone is the next giant of the indie music scene. Let me to introduce you to the very odd Stupjon E. Doakleys.
Stupjan: Uh, it's pronounced "Stoop - Yawn," Mitch.
Yeah, whatever. Anyway I just happened upon your music on the internet and it seems that lots of people have been listening to it for over a year but up until now I basically ignored it because I didn't want to just jump on the bandwagon, so to speak.
Stupjan: Yeah.You have quite a following on the college campuses for some reason. What do you think is your music's appeal?
Stupjan: People like it.
I see. Well, apparently you have good instincts. Tell me about the project you're working on right now. You're like, writing an album for every state in the country. That's incredibly ambitious!
Stupjan: Uh, no. Some guy's already doing that. I'm writing an album about every room in my house. My debut album was Main Bathroom, now I'm on Kitchen, with Hallway in the wings.
Oh. So you're not...Wait a minute. Who are you?
Stupjan: And none of that sprawly stuff. It takes a lot more talent to be concise. I limit myself to twenty seconds for each song.
Twenty seconds? Er, would you mind--Stupjan: I'd sing a couple of bars for you, but I have laryngitis right now.
Wait a minute. I know that voice! You're--you're that crazy washed-up has-been who keeps sending us bad demo tapes and messages on our answering machine!
(False) Stupjan: Dude, you say "washed up" like it's some kind of insult, when it's only proper hygiene. You really ought to bathe more often. My music's not for the unwashed masses, anyway.That's enough. I'm going to hang up now.
(False) Stupjan: Hey, you can't cut me off! I earned this! You--!
[CLICK]
You know what, dude, you're really sick. You need to get a life and stop impersonating a real musician.
Sorry folks, that's it for the show today. I hope to get the real Stupjan on here soon, but meanwhile, as luck would have it his latest single just came in the mail and here it is: Spork, meet Garbage Disposal. Hmmm...wait a minute! No! Don't play tha-
Comments (6)
Hey, that song was :21...I thought :20 was the limit!?!? What gives???
Don't ask me, I don't have anything to do with it!
However, I would conjecture that False Mr. Stupjan has a poor concept of time, although to his credit, there is a little pause at the beginning, so the actual length of the music played may be closer to 20 seconds.
i was hoping you might end his fraudulent behavior and reveal the true identity of "mr. stupjan" to be billy ray cyrus.
No, Skinnafish, such a thing would just break my heart--my achy, breaky heart!
I love the way that sounds!! Of course, here at work my computer does not have a sound card so I can't hear anything. I like it just as much or maybe more than the other things I can't hear at Xanga.
Nice work Dan
. I mean, Stupjan.
Comments are closed.