December 7, 2006
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Tales From Dreamland
I was watching a Hallmark made-for-TV special movie starring Noah Wylie when the scene morphed into a strikingly different situation.
I found myself at some kind of folksy rest stop area with a nice brick building on just a real swell day. My Mom was walking out of the building when, without warning, she was attacked by a deranged 80-year old lady with superhuman strength. I struggled to pry her anaconda-like grip off of my weakening mother. During this epic battle, the female octogenarian berated me abusively but I took it like a man and scolded her right back! In a matter of seconds I prevailed, prying off her wiry arms and pushing her away with great effort. I stared her down and our confrontation and the dream both ended. That bad Grammar ain't messin' with me no more, superhuman strength or not!
My arms are a little sore this morning, but I can tell you with confidence that my recent weightlifting has paid off in light of this life-saving incident. If only someone had been videotaping, it would have made excellent footage for "When Grannies Attack!" or "True-Life Rest Stop Heroes". Now I'm going to go out and buy myself a medal commemorating my brave deed, unless someone else feels compelled to do so (hint, hint).
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