February 4, 2007

• Stupder Bowl Sunday

  Today is that most sacred Sunday of the year, Stupder Bowl Sunday.  I call upon each of you to reflect upon the true meaning of this day which has been so badly warped by our society's crass commercialism and excess. 

  It used to be an event of exquisite purity; one where we could watch a bunch of big brutes violently crashing into each other as they battled over a pigskin ball, the victors pulverizing adversity and their foes to become glorious champions of the gridiron.  But now our focus has changed:  It has been watered-down into partaking in a grotesque spectacle of high-priced commercials and an extravagantly bad half-time show while chowing down on cheesy salsa dip.  Nowadays, everyone exalts the slick, pricey television commercials, and the big brutes violently crashing into each other are practically ignored!

  Frankly, it saddens me, saddens me deeply when we ignore big, violent brutes and their contributions to society and most importantly, the Stupder Bowl.   For without them, we wouldn't even have a Stupder Bowl.  They are the reason for this holiday.  And for that we should be most thankful. 

  Let your heart harken back to the day when the Stupder Bowl was all about the game.  And if you have a big, violent brute in your life, let him/her know how much they are appreciated today.  Don't wait until tomorrow!  Don't ignore them to watch a commercial.*  You'll regret it if you do, I swear!

  * unless you can first distract them with cheesy salsa dip
  

  • 3:55 pm
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