April 18, 2007
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On Basement Pond*
In my self-imposed exile, poring and pondering over my long "to do" list, I poured myself a third bowl of Frosted Marshmellow Turkey Crunch. I poured poorly, it would seem, as I pored and pondered, for in my reverie, I spilled half the box of cereal on my toes and the table which they rested upon.
I'd been swamped lately with job, church, Rotary, and theater responsibilities and didn't seem to have any left over energy or motivation for writing Xanga entries.
Instead, I had endeavored to train my feet to accomplish tasks usually assigned to the hands: writing, typing, carrying objects, playing piano, holding silverware, gesturing, etc. One never knows when this kind of skill will come in "handy". Once I realized how difficult it actually was, however, I quit immediately and decided instead to use my ears. Finding this arguably even more challenging and in fact quite dangerous, owing to numerous bruises, bumps, and lacerations, I concluded that hands were really a great invention after all and perhaps I should not inconvenience myself by neglecting to use them for their intended purposes.
It occurred to me that one thing is greatly lacking in our American drinking fountains, and that is of course, a drinking fountain attendant... A polite, articulate individual (dressed in a tuxedo) who presses the button or steps upon the lever to activate the fountain, equipped with a towel to dab the drinker's mouth of excess water. This service would set our drinking fountains apart from those of other countries, "a world ahead of the rest of the world," so to speak.
I also read some intriguing news in the latest edition of Science Says: "Biologists are now analyzing the potato for clues about the early development of one of our most precious senses. 'It makes perfect sense,' says Less Nessman, Ph.D. 'Genetically speaking, the potato as it exists today is very much the same as it was 3.5 billion years ago. By studying the primitive eye of the potato, we can gain an understanding of how vision evolved among Earth's earliest life-forms. Placing a potato upon the eye is a well-known home remedy for welder's flash-burn; we think that on contact the potato imparts its primitive stem cells to the human eye, which then heal it by replacing damaged corneal and conjunctival epithelium. These same stem cells play a role in the formation of potato eyes themselves, which may be found on almost any part of the outside of a potato, including celebrity potato Mr. Potato Head™ himself.'"
My solitudge, I mean solitude, cannot last forever. Basement Pond is sadly no more, and has not been for several months, but at least the dirt remains.
I am a bit of a social deerfly, so it's off now to the Cow Festival, where deaf choirs will be signing and security will try to keep the groundhogs from disrupting the celebrations. Wish me luck!
* weirdness alert!
Comments (7)
Good luck, good 'morrow, and when we do evolve to the point of having drinking fountain attendants, I hope they sanitize the fountain between drinkers too. I almost always get stuck behind some kid, or kid-at-heart, who thinks it wise to engulf the entire apparatus with their entire mouth. eeewwww!
Weirdly enough, I really liked this post...it was soothing. I feel like now I want to read something from Mr. Thompson himself...or maybe Emerson or Hemmingway. If that's not weird, I don't know what is.
BTW, think you could do an abridged xanga entry on the content of the book you're reading? (For those of us who have always wanted to read those books but always find something else better to do).
I am so glad that you give weirdness alerts, though I can't seem to help myself. I always read your entire message. I really think the drinking fountain atttendant is a wonderful idea, especially with the fountain that comes out in a wimpy stream and suddenly gusts forth with a deluge.
Weird, my own comment from earlier today vanished. I don't remember deleting it.
Well, here's the main point at least:
Natalie jo,
It may take me a while to get through the book, but I may try to provide some kind of summary when I get done.
RVMann, excellent suggestion. Sanitization should never be just an option. I strongly believe that it should be something more.
Cookiegrandma,
Thanks for your comment! It was both complimentary and complementary at the same time.
You mentioned fountains with wimpy streams suddenly gusting forth with a deluge. It strikes me that a fountain attendant with a mischievous nature might be tempted to purposefully cause this to occur as a prank. That is why a politeness code will be paramount and must be enforced rigorously by a ruthless corp of drinking fountain attendant disciplinarians armed with rulers for rapping the knuckles and foreheads of all miscreants.
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