May 4, 2007

• Southern Illinois Conversations
  

  Welcome to SIU-Carbondale's weekly radio show.  I'm your student moderator Robert Vine, here in the studio with Salem musicians Neal Anderthal and "Three Hands" Dan, two members of the No Rhythm Trio.  They've been ripping up the jazz scene at world-renowned venues the ABC and Becky's Bar up in Salem. 

  I had a chance to hear them play at the Saluki Haus last night (which we students here affectionately refer to as Club K-9), and they're scheduled to open for Two Dog Night at Shyrock Auditorium* on Saturday.   How's it going, guys?

  Neal:  Grunt.
  Dan:  Awesome, dude. Sorry B.C. couldn't make it, he has a hangover, er...hangnail, yeah.

  RV:  You guys had people running out the door!

  Neal:  Oog.  Gabapentin.
  Dan:  Yeah, heh, heh.  It makes you wonder, do they hate us, or are they rushing to tell their friends?

  RV:  Maybe both.  So let me ask you a question about your musical style...Rough jazz, what's that?

  Neal:  Grubble?
  Dan:  Well, you've heard of smooth jazz?  We're more edgy.  We don't try to smooth anything out.  It's all about edginess.  We're post-modern heptagonal cats, can you dig it?

  RV:  A dodecahedron would be edgier. 

  Dan:  What?

  RV: No, actually I saw you guys play at the club last night and I was kind of embarrassed for you.  You got kind of a chilly reception.

  Neal:  Grrrrr...
  Dan:  Well, you know, it happens sometimes, we're cool.  People just don't understand the extent of our coolness yet.  We radiate the cool, people get hypothermia and think it's our fault they're not wearing coats indoors.

  RV:  Well, from the grumbling around me it seemed like it had more to do with you guys not playing in sync with each other or any kind of time signature or rhythm.  It sounded really shaky, like you needed a lot more practice.

  Neal:  Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!
  Dan (laughing):  Time signature!  With all dude respect, my man, you're missing the entire point!   Anyone can  play with rhythm.  That's boring.  We tried that when we first got together and it was making us all get angry at each other, so we decided to just relax and let it flow.  What you hear today is the natural evolution of that process; a band that dares to defy convention.

  RV: So the fact that you sound like a bunch of pathetic amateurs is all part of your act?

  Dan:  Listen, Robert, we're on a mission.  Very much like that great band of yore, the Blues Brothers, maybe you've heard of them. Everyone should have a mission in life; I have a strong sense that yours is to grow really long hair, pilot a hydrogen-filled blimp, and sing rock and roll songs.  Our mission is to show the world that rhythm is overrated. 

  RV: And originality? Is it overrated, as well?

  Neal:  Ugga chug.  Chug ugga.
  Dan:  Huh?

  RV:  I have knowledge you stole the bass line for your latest number from a local musician.  Plagiarism.

  Neal:  Awwwwwwww!
  Dan:  No, no, no! 

  RV:  He told me himself.  He even played the line for me, better than your bassist did, I might add.

  Dan:  My man, my man.  You obviously didn't understand him.  I know the dude -- he probably got done strumming and said, "Played ya a rhythm"--I  know with the lisp words can be a little hard to decipher, but that's obviously what he said.  He would never accuse us of stealing his tune.

  RV:  Nevertheless, he could at least play me a rhythm, as anyone who purports to be a musician should be able to do.  What's your guys' excuse?

  Neal:  Glabargle!
  Dan:  Dude, we deconstruct rhythm.  It's our calling as postmodern musicians.  All the top philosophers, from Plato to Kaelin refer to truth and beauty.  What greater source of truth and beauty is there in the world but music?  What is truth?  What is beauty?  What is music?  We aim to liberate music from the tyranny of rhythm, the shackles of...whatever, the handcuffs of...stuffiness.  If we can do that, if by our edgy, rough, revolutionary coolness we can bring joy to just one person...Well, I consider our band a cause well-warranted.

  RV:  Quite frankly, you guys are terrible and I'll be happy if you'd go somewhere else and liberate us from your music!  See you round.

  Neal (suddenly coherent):  See you, square!
  Dan:  Touche, Andy, touche!

  RV:  That's all the time we have for this evening.  No Rhythm Trio at Shyrock Saturday at 7, everybody.  Consider yourselves warned!

  * Not to be confused with Shryock Auditorium

  • 6:22 pm
  • 1 Comment