June 18, 2006

• Imagine a Clever Caption

  (It's easy if you try)

  Let me apologize for doing such a socioeconomically-disadvantaged job
  of keeping up with the blog lately.  I've been flooded with
  e-mails from my billions of readers worldwide complaining about the low
  frequency of blog entries recently and all I can say is I've been very
  busy.

  Tomorrow I'm headed off to a church-related trip in the Chicago area
  for next week.  For this trip I had to have an air mattress, so I
  purchased one this evening at an unmentionable place whose name rhymes
  with "Hall-gart".  The air mattress looks fine, but what frightens
  me is that the box for the air pump says "WARNING: USE ONLY UNDER COMPETENT SUPERVISION."   I don't have
  supervision.  As far as I know, only Superman does.  I might
  be able to simulate it with one of our clinic's telescopes for
  low-vision patients, but such telescopes don't have X-ray
  capability.  And I certainly don't have access to any X-ray
  machine.  I have a laser pointer, but it lacks the thermal
  qualities of Superman's heat-ray vision.  So basically, I'm stuck
  with an air pump that only Superman can use.  As much as I despise
  "Hall-gart," I must admit that they do have quite a good return policy,
  so I should be able to get my money back.

  Many of my billions of readers seem to think I should use this forum to
  address serious social issues rather than the trivialities
  of my daily life.  For you, I offer this poem:

  WHO will weep for the baby carrots?

  Peeled, and washed, and rounded.

  (Oh, carrot babies...)

  We'd barely recognize thee as carrots

  If not for the orangiousity of thy tone.
  
  
  

  WHO will weep for the baby carrots?

  (Oh, carrot babies...)

  Wrenched harshly from their parents

  Before they can even learn

  What it means to be a productive adult

  In carrot society.

  WHO will weep for the baby carrots?

  Not I, proud American, for munching them I am.

  Heeding not their sad origin,

  Nor their odd, often uncarrotlike taste.

  They are simply convenient.
  
  But at what cost?
  
  (Oh, carrot babies...)
  
  At what cost?
  
  
  

  While I'm gone this week, guest blogger
  Charles "the Sloth-man" Charlton will be filling in.  Despite his
  super-hero sounding nickname, Charles does not possess
  super-vision.  I asked already, and he says his only super powers
  are sleeping and moving really slow, which don't sound that all that
  super to me.  

  Have a great week!

  • 12:09 am
  • Comments Off