February 19, 2006
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What's it All Worth?
Receptionist (R): All right, Mrs. Pincher, your total visit to our eye clinic today comes out to $____.
Mrs. Pincher (MP): $____? That's outrageous! That's
almost half of what I pay to have my hair done. Let me
see the bill. (R hands it over) No, look, you've clearly
overcharged me. (MP hands it back)
R: It looks correct to me, ma'am. Will you be paying with cash, credit, or check today?
MP: What? I'll give you nothing! I demand to see the doctor!
R: All right. (pushes button and talks through
speaker) Dr. Greediman, a patient at the
front desk wants to talk to you.
Dr. Greediman (walks up, notices scowl on MP's face): What seems to be the problem, Penny?
MP: Doctor, your receptionist is overcharging me.
Dr: Is that
so? Let me see the bill. (Looks it over). Hmmm...Yes, that
looks about right. Actually, it's fine.
MP: What? Are you kidding? You've charged me for two eye exams! Look, it's right there on the list!
Dr: Are you a cyclops, Penny?
MP: Huh?
Dr: The cyclops, in Greek myth, was known for having a single round eye in the middle of the forehead.
MP: Wha-? I don't see what that has to do with anything! Are you telling me-
Dr: Two eyes, two eye examinations.
MP: Why, that's preposterous!
Dr: I don't like to go on about the generosity of my heart, but
to be honest, Penny, I've actually charged too little. Knowing
you are a mother with children to take care of, I didn't even charge
you for the eyes in back of your head.
MP: (looking at him strangely) You can't be serious!
Dr: Ah, but I am. Dead serious. I don't like to
lecture people, but when you've gone to school for eight years and
earned the right to put those precious letters "O.D." next to your
name, you realize that you should be able to charge anything you want
for your expertise.
MP: Expertise? What expertise? It took you eight years to learn how to say, "Which is better, one or two?"
Dr: Ooh! Just what I'd expect from Penny "Would-you-like-fries-with-that" Pincher!MP (gasps): Appalling! I'll tell you right now I'm not
paying you a red cent, and I'm never coming back! I'm going to the
Evil
Empire, where at least they "care enough to charge the very
less". You disgust me, you and your greedy ways! I guess
they don't call you Dr. Greedy-man for nothing! Hmph! (she
storms off)
Dr: (shouting at her) You've got that right! And I'm proud of
it! I've earned it, I tell you, earned it! (to receptionist) Without that degree I'd just be Mr. Greediman.
Comments (8)
How many of these stories come from your own experiences?
Most of these don't come from my own experience directly, but they take something that irritates or interests me and exaggerates it.
"Dr. Greediman" does not equal me in this dialogue, but it comes from the price issue for eye examinations by optometrists in private practice vs. chains, and patient perceptions of both. Before I graduated from optometry school I worked as an optician at Evil Mart and the patients appreciated the cheap service and didn't seem to mind the brevity of the exams. But now as an optometrist I prefer a private practice where I'm not swamped and I feel like I'm able to do a better job than I would if I was pressured to crank out a certain volume of patients per day. Private practices generally are lower volume and must charge more for their services than the chains, but often spend more time examining patients' eyes.
So is the more expensive private practice doctor ripping you off AND wasting your time, or are you getting what you pay for with a more thorough eye examination? Obviously, I think the latter is true. I believe a thorough exam is crucial to evaluating eye health and protecting vision.
For that extra time and effort (plus the fact that private practioners don't have the buying power of Evil Mart), I think it's appropriate to charge an amount of money that reflects the value of my service and training and allows me to buy a mansion and a fleet of BMWs (scratch that last part).
That "extra time and effort" actually shouldn't be extra; everyone should do it that way, but too often it can be tempting to cut corners to increase the volume in practices where the revenue per pt. is very low.
I think the trend towards increasing numbers of Evil Mart-style optometrists and less private practitioners is bad for the profession; it reinforces in patients' minds the idea that we're just lens flippers playing doctor. Patients who go to Evil Mart don't realize they may be receiving a different (and frequently lesser) service and could wonder why "greedy" private practice lens-flippers charge so much for supposedly the same thing.
This does even not address the issue of commodities like spectacles or contact lenses. Again, chains generally have greater buying power and can often offer these products cheaper. I have no complaints about that; it's simply the nature of the market. There are some other side issues but I've already written longer than a regular entry so I'll say no more for now.
Stupidocles--I agree with you 100%! In fact, I refuse to visit places like Evil Mart and Marion Eye Center. I STILL travel down to Harrisburg, IL yearly for my appointment with Dr. Daugherty.
(As a kid I used to have to go twice a year!! We have a long history.) I am willing to pay more to get a more thorough eye exam and spend time with a knowledgable physician who cares about my health.
I also do a FABULOUS imitation of the very soft and sweet way she says:
"Here's choice one, aaaand here's choice two. Here's three, and there's four. How 'bout five, or maybe six....Which one is easier to see for you?"
"...allows me to buy a mansion and a fleet of BMWs (scratch that last part)."
...scratch WHICH part, Dr. Funnyman? The manion or the fleet of BMWs? Eye exams in this country are WAAAAY over priced! Where I come from they are quick, to the point, accurate, and cost nothing (our glorious government takes care of us!), and can be taken anytime and anywhere.
Problem: Doctor, I can't see very well.
Solution: Open your eyes or we'll reassign you to America.
Problem: Doctor, my eyes are too dry.
Solution: Blink more often or we'll reassign you to America.
Problem: Doctor, I see flashers and floaters.
Solutions: You Crazy. Pack you're bags, you've been reassigned to America.
So you see (haha, I made a funny...'you see') we have a much more superior way of handling eye exams. Perhaps the real difference it that for the whiners and complainers over here, there is no place to send them!
Uill2,
Thanks for the feedback! That's great that you go to Dr. Daugherty--she seems like a very nice person. I haven't gotten to know the other O.D.'s in Southern Illinois all that well yet since we haven't had too many SIOS (Southern Illinois Optometric Society) meetings and I'm not too talkative at them anyway, but she and Dr. Eubanks both seem very personable.
Regarding Trip Tuh Phan,
It's getting so just about ANYONE can get a xanga site nowadays. They really need to start doing background checks or something to weed out some of these oddballs.
However, I do owe Trip a response as he was not rude or hostile...
Trip...Can I call you Trippin'?
To clarify, "BMWs" was the last part of the sentence you asked about so scratch that. The sentence should read "...fleet of" and just end there.
Stupidocles,
FYI, Daugherty is awesome, and Eubanks rocks too! My sis once had to see him because she had a stye and Benna was out of town. He was really cool.
Glad you got to meet them.
Just a comment to clarify that I can't claim to be a physician (as in M.D.), but optometry education these days does equip the O.D. to do medically-related eyecare short of surgery. I also don't believe that all optometrists at all Evil Marts provide poor care or that all private practice ones provide great care. There are good and bad ones in both private and corporate practice, but I think that the corporate setting just lends itself toward high volume patient quotas and cutting corners.
Comments are closed.